M back

Been like years I have been here... Got a bit too busy for things I guess.

Life has changed a lot. Got married. Became a Dad. Have a awesome son. Abhay...

Life's priorities have changed... Most of the things have changed....

Expect me;)

Well that's something that god has created unique... And it would be unjust to change gods intentions:)

Well now I am here and there is much to be talked about, I would make regular posts to keep track of things....

Not that I had not been writing ... I was but in my journal....

But now let's use this blog for a while...

Will be making a mess here ... So friends stay tuned to the new blog form today onwards..

Love u

Bye..

Prem tamanno...

Well premfaltu have changed to prem tamanno... ( sweet little story which I would share with u latter)

dad

Dad

Sunday 19^th june 2011

2255hrs

I dont know how you felt when I was born as your child,

But mom says that you too happy for me n that you cried,
I was to little to remember anything,

Mom says to you I was everything.

There were hopes , dreams and many things you wanted me to be,

Courageous and brave and righteous , you wanted to see urself in me,

Mom says you were a comman man with a small salary salary,

But for me u used to spend a fortune on me happily

You used to play with me a lot and bring me lot of toys.

Things that I demanded and things which brought me joy.

I was too little to remember all this

Forgive me forgive me pls.

I remember you walking me when I cried not to go to school,

But you were very tolerant and made sure that I don’t remain a fool,

I grew up and so did you got a bit busy

Our lives changed and become so messy,

I had school friends girls and my little fun

You had business politics and money to earn.

The nights were the only times when we used to meet,

In the garden talking sometimes we used to sit.
I don’t remember you teaching me anything

But ur actions taught me everything,

The way you taked the way you walked was just perfect

To my eyes you were someone from a different sect.

I don’t know but you become my hero,

I wanted to be like you and not a zero,

Then I came in my teens and girls were on my mind,

You knew I was hiding and keen to find,

You were more like a friend

Few rules even you liked to bend.
i wanted life to be like a sweet song

but somehow things went wrong,

Your misunderstandings with ur brothers

Your drinking you took further,

I hated to see u drunk,
Ran away and tried to be a funk
Seeing you like that my heart was burning
But with you things about life even I was learning,
I knew how much you were in pain

I just wanted you to be more sane.

I tried to make u see the other part of life,
Ur two growing sons and ur brave wife,
But hurt was ur self respect and that was the twinkle of your eyes,
So much was the pain as enormous as the sky.

I knew you had made ur choice

Cant just forget the hurt to your poise,

I knew it was an intentional act,

And I knew I have to accept the fact.
Then came the hospital
Thought I would go mental.
I just knew what it was going to be,
But I was not brave enough to see,
One the first day the doc said seven days,
My heart sank and I lost my ways,
i didn’t know what I had to do,
Whom to share and where to turn to.
I started running from you,
For you were the one I loved most of the few,
I could not show that I am down to my brother
I had to be brave in front of my mother.
I went to places to be alone and cry
Shout at god and ask him why,
I wanted to let you know how much I loved you
But I could not for I know you wanted me to be as you,
On the last day I was standing by you holding my tears,
I knew in matter of time true will come my fears.
You were unable to speak n u were holding urhand in mine
I saw it in ur eyes saying son don’t worry everything would be fine.
You took all the pain without a word ,
Silently you left us just like a bird.

I just stood there watching in dismay,

I was holding ur hand but u just slipped away,

After u were gone I didn’t cry
Tears just didn’t come to my eyes.
I still don’t belive that u left me all alone and dry

I still see you sometimes just standing by.
I still run from the fact that you are no more

Just the thought still makes my eyes wet and my heart sore,

Where to shout and whom should I complain,
So many dreams with you just would be dreams in vain.
I wanted you to play with ur grandson,
Spoil him more than ur own son,
Y god did this to me a reason I cant see,
All that with you I could had be.
Dad I didnt say it but I wish you had seen it in my eye
My love for you was even bigger than the sky.
I miss u I missu I miss u a lot,
Life without u is just a small dot.
Without you I, in this crule world, just stand alone,

Feel I am naked and without a back bone.
I know that you would always be watching over me
And when I need u, there for me u will always be,

I miss u I miss u I miss u a lots………….DAD.

I was a little stupid but not that…….BAD……
At last your stupid son just say,
Dad happy fathers day.
Love you dad…………love u a lots.

Rabba Khair,

Prem Tamanno

i am there

i know how happy you would had been

i know a thousand dreams u must have seen,

i know ur hurt wont come out as u are you,

but i can see through i am one of those few.

i cant even imagine what you would had felt,

but i know what, to you, it relly meant,

i m here to stand by you and all your hurts to share,

but you just want to stay alone and thats just not fair.

why are you so why dont you show,

m a friend who cares not a foe,

i just want to share your pain,

take things out of your stupid brain,

i know you might be feeling a bit insecure

heavy would be the feeling that the fault is your,

you are someone special and i want you to know,

you to me are like the winters first snow.

i know its time that you will have to be strong,

in front of others laugh and sing a song

know that i am there if u need a sholder to cry,

let all ur hurts out and say to the pain good bye.

i want you to make her smile,

say to her dont worry everythings fine,

sit by her and hold her near,

say that u are my princess dear.

i want you to make her smile again,

erase everything that brings pain,

want you both to fly.....

too big and blue is the sky..........

rabba Khair

Prem Tamanno.......

why

Whenever I miss u, I just get lost in memories of olden days

I still remember those lovely days, when in ur arms I use to lay

So easily u moved on n now u treat me as stranger

Still i tried to help u out but then u took me as a challenger

Sometimes I feel so hurt that I lock myself in room n loudly I shout

Its u who was wrong, its u who lied, n then its u who have doubts?

My poems were never to blame u, they were just my feeling’s portray

Its u who played with my feeling, then why cant I call ur fake love a betray?

Sometimes I curse my fate, because I met u, because I loved u

My feelings were true, tell me, that’s why am i in blues?

Today, i try to run away from this feeling called love.

Because a heartless person came in my life n acted like a dove,

But the bitter truth is, I am still in love with you

I still wish to spend some moments even if they r few

I cry a lot then try to find u in my tears………….

That crying never gave me pain but brought both of us near

Perhaps unconsciously I am trying to dream of that time

When world will be beautiful, I will be yours n u will be mine

Whenever I miss u, I just get lost in memories of olden days

I still remember those lovely days, when in ur arms I use to lay

So easily u moved on n now u treat me as stranger

Still i tried to help u out but then u took me as a challenger

Sometimes I feel so hurt that I lock myself in room n loudly I shout

Its u who was wrong, its u who lied, n then its u who have doubts?

My poems were never to blame u, they were just my feeling’s portray

Its u who played with my feeling, then why cant I call ur fake love a betray?

Sometimes I curse my fate, because I met u, because I loved u

My feelings were true, tell me, that’s why am i in blues?

Today, i try to run away from this feeling called love.

Because a heartless person came in my life n acted like a dove,

But the bitter truth is, I am still in love with you

I still wish to spend some moments even if they r few

I cry a lot then try to find u in my tears………….

That crying never gave me pain but brought both of us near

Perhaps unconsciously I am trying to dream of that time

When world will be beautiful, I will be yours n u will be mine

moving on

TUESDAY 14^th June 2011

2204hrs

The anxiety and the uncertainty for the outcome of the recent events is gone. I don’t feel anything for the moment. I did all I could and after feeling that all was in vain a sudden flow of regret threw away all that was in my heart. M clean now. I don’t know how long I would stay like this but I feel its not momentary. I got a hunch that this would stay. And I want it to stay. Just don’t want waste my life trying to dig a well in the desert.

If I have to shower my feeling for someone then I want it to be showered on someone who deserves. I don’t want my efforts to go in vain.

Soon I would be a free man. I know its going to be hard for sometime but I have things to manage myself and I know just suffering for a few moments will bring greater peace and happiness in our life latter on.

I know convincing everyone about my decision is going to be hard but I know that they will understand with time. For the moment I have decided to be silent. Everything will fall in its place when the time comes.

The only thing that creats doubts in me is my emotional nature and I don’t want that to creat any hindrance. I know I have to be strong. And if it demands being rude or ruthless so be it. I wont hesitate if it is required.

I now have no other options left. The thing I want will never be there. The thing that once was mine, aint mine anymore and I am not that cheap or selfish to take things just for my sake……….just cant do it anymore nor can I take it. Enough is enough. I would let u burn me to ash but I wont allow you to pee on my ashes. I don’t want to hurt myself anymore nor do I want to keep my happiness in anyone’s hand…………….

Just cant take it anymore……just cant do it anymore.

just want peace……..

Prem Tamanno…

The girl and the house.....

THE GIRL AND THE HOUSE.

There was a girl who lived in a far of place all alone in very big house. She lived there from a very long time. She was very found of that house. She used to decorate it paint it and used to furnish it. She loved it so much that she needed no one else. She used to talk with the house laugh with it play with it and stay with it.

The house loved her very much. Anything she wanted or did to it, it just accepted without any complaints. Tried to give her all the best it could. Shelter from the wind rain and sun. space to run wild and dance around. The house just loved her too much.

But slowly as time passed the house became old. Heavy rains and storms weakened it. The color faded and the walls cracked. The girl saw this and started loosing interest. She started going out in the wild to play and talk. Started to ignore the needs of the house. The house started looking more and more old. Many a times she tried to move out and many a times she did but somewhere in the corner of her heart the love for the house was too strong which always made her come back. Each time she came she came a little less.

She somehow decided that she would stay in the house for ever and the house was too happy for the house always stayed where it was for her. The house tried to give her the best it could but her needs were more than it could imagine. She had already lost her fondness and she looked for happiness from out side……..

Then came the winters. Cold and dark……… she was all alone. It was chilly and scary sometimes. One day she found a flame. The flame gave her warmth and joy that she needed. She started playing more and more with the flame. She became so found of it that she totally forgot the house. one day a storm came and she got scared and ran to the house. But she took the flame with her. The house got scared looking at the flame for it knew that it might burn him. But he saw that she was too happy with the flame to see that it had started heating up the house. She was so busy playing with the flame for it gave her warmth and joy the liveness in her life that she didn’t realize that it might burn the house down. Soon the house started burning slowly. Somehow she realized but was too scared to do anything. For she knew that if she put outs the flame the warmth and the joy would be gone. She kept wondering what to do, the flame kept burning the house and the house kept burning silently. Neither she wanted to burn the house nor she wanted to put out the flame…….

She didn’t act and when she realized it was too late. The house burned to ashes and so was gone the flame……there she stood all alone in the dark wondering why she didn’t put out the flame………..but it was too late…

The house lay there in ashes…………she stood there alone………………

Soon someone might build the house again

Soon she might find a new friend to play……………..

Prem Tamanno

stranger

friday, 10th june 2011


i feel like a stranger in my own home....
i just m totall confused to as what things really and what i think them to be i dont want anything that which is a forced action from any side......
i just want things to be simple. but the thing is that i myself aint able to be so. i am not able to accept things as they are and things as they look. sorry gota go....next time

prem tammano