Saturday 4th june 2011
1131hrs
Things are good for now. I don’t know what else to say. I see the change happening. I think it could work out really very well but I still have so many doubts. I see a better understanding might descend on us. everything could be beautiful. Life could be a lovely song.
But deep down I am confused and a state of fear prevails. Anxiety is to much. I have lost my sleep. This had never happenend to me before . I never had trouble sleeping in my entire life. Nothing could had possible kept me from sleeping. I just don’t know what to say.
I don’t know what I am afraid of. I just don’t know. Losing is not I am worried about nor is that I would go mad or anything. I just don’t know what its like .
Doc says that I need help and I think she is right at some point. I do need help. But I would prefer that I helped my self.
May be I nee time to get out of ll this fuck around me. Or may be I just need to express everything that’s in my heart . and may be that just what I need. I just need to get over this thing and move on. I would just do that…….
Prem Tamanno
