Saturday 21st May 2011
4:11 PM
I guess things will not work out the way I thought. May be he has thought of something else for me or may be he is giving me time to think properly. May be this is a warning of what lies ahead and asking me to make my choice. They say he works in mysterious way and my god his ways are confusing.
I don’t want to cheat anyone nor do I want to promise something that I cant fulfill. Don’t want to force anyone into anything. Don’t want to cheat. Don’t wanna make anyone cry just for my selfish reasons. I had a hitch that this day would come and these questions would arise but wasn’t sure. Thought that it may work out but I was wrong. People sometimes deserve a lot better than what they think is best for them. Sometime you are blinded and your insight is not clear. And when it does get clear, you realize that you have made a mistake. Good that its just not that late now. Things still could be managed somehow.
About happiness, I think its pretty much mutual. You cannot be happy making someone cry could you? Its more like give and take. You got to trade happiness.
They say that the only thing permanent is change. And changes do take place. With time everything change.
You would find this very strange but trust me my experiences say that love cant make you happy. It comes with **** hidden conditions. Trust me a lots of them. For the reason is that love doesn’t stay too long. And while its gone people still are left strangled in the relations. They just don’t realize its time to move on. And that’s the reason love marriages don’t last much. Just coz that OSHO has said that the Indian marriages are far more stable than those in the west and the only reason is that in india they arrange everything from shop to cooking vessels the only thing left out is love. They don’t even think of it. For they know for a stable marriage you don’t need love all you need is a few arrangements.
I don’t know what life has stored for me and nither I am too keen to know. For I know I will surely get what I deserve. Good or bad. But I will. Some day he will call me and say “hey asshole come here and this is what you get now don’t make a fuss and enjoy” and trust me I would be happy with it. For I have stopped fighting a long ago. The more you expect the more you get hurt. For I know there are two ways. 1 that you make a fuss around say things say how much you are unhappy and still take the package and the other is that you quietly take the package and be thankful. For I have see people in life who don’t get a package at all. For I have had my spoils and I am happy with it all. And I find myself at peace with myself. I am a bit happy. So no worries……..
That all for now………
Rabba khair….
4:47 PM
