september 10th 2010, friday
2030
hi
nothing particular just felt like writing something so here i am. just a few weird thoughts and my self talk thats what you gonna find out in this blog......
m lazing around form last 2 and a half months......no job not much work. cant get my head into anything much. somethings wrong and its prety bad. somethings ittiching my heart real bad.
sometimes you get screwed just coz of what you think and what yu belive to be true. sometimes its not like that. maybe i am making things up which are really not in real the way i think them to be. but then you cant just let go it thinking that you are wrong. for you yourself dont understan whats right or whats wrong. and then at some point, based on that thought, when you ook at the past you feel that you had been preety stupid and all the things that you had been doing were useless. and suddenly you feel that you have preety much screwed up your preety god damn years behind that.
when i lokk at myself and my life i just wonder what the heck is going on. like look at me. i am, at present living a royal liffe which any one at this point would be dreaming about. a life which is far better than the rest of the people i look around. look at it man at some point i got it all... a enfield....every bikers dream....cells...not just one but two. money...clothes....just look at my wardrobe man you would be surprised....( what you gonna say if i told you i got 30 jeans, levi's, spykar, pepe, woods, lee cooper.....more than 50 t shirts, and 40 shirts......i know m a bit crazy about cloths....)and a laptop which is a sony vaio.....and not only that its my third laptop in 3 years......i almost got everything a guy my age would wish for.and above all almost no one to interfear.....(m a jerk who doesnt listen to any one) good business. and i totally forgot i got friends man. would say dimonds. everything is fine and almost more than enough. but still something is troubling my heart.
there is nothing that i wish for. nothing that i want or that i think that i should have....nothing. but still something is not there which should be there.
well thats it for today......
bye....
