september 10th 2010, friday

2030

hi

nothing particular just felt like writing something so here i am. just a few weird thoughts and my self talk thats what you gonna find out in this blog......

m lazing around form last 2 and a half months......no job not much work. cant get my head into anything much. somethings wrong and its prety bad. somethings ittiching my heart real bad.

sometimes you get screwed just coz of what you think and what yu belive to be true. sometimes its not like that. maybe i am making things up which are really not in real the way i think them to be. but then you cant just let go it thinking that you are wrong. for you yourself dont understan whats right or whats wrong. and then at some point, based on that thought, when you ook at the past you feel that you had been preety stupid and all the things that you had been doing were useless. and suddenly you feel that you have preety much screwed up your preety god damn years behind that.

when i lokk at myself and my life i just wonder what the heck is going on. like look at me. i am, at present living a royal liffe which any one at this point would be dreaming about. a life which is far better than the rest of the people i look around. look at it man at some point i got it all... a enfield....every bikers dream....cells...not just one but two. money...clothes....just look at my wardrobe man you would be surprised....( what you gonna say if i told you i got 30 jeans, levi's, spykar, pepe, woods, lee cooper.....more than 50 t shirts, and 40 shirts......i know m a bit crazy about cloths....)and a laptop which is a sony vaio.....and not only that its my third laptop in 3 years......i almost got everything a guy my age would wish for.and above all almost no one to interfear.....(m a jerk who doesnt listen to any one) good business. and i totally forgot i got friends man. would say dimonds. everything is fine and almost more than enough. but still something is troubling my heart.

there is nothing that i wish for. nothing that i want or that i think that i should have....nothing. but still something is not there which should be there.

well thats it for today......

bye....

Moji Swami

HI


My bull went numb. Cant really do without it.riding him is just one beautiful thing that I love to do every single day. When I hear its 350 cc engine roaring,it just makes my day. Riding him is just a bliss I cant put into words.

Its not a new and beautiful machine. Its an 1982 model. 3 years older than me. But is still going strong and very realible. Never has it ever kept me in middle of the way……. I just love my bull. I call him Moji. It may sound stupid but I do talk to him too. Everyday I take him for a ride when I go to office. Its just 10 kms away. I go in the morning and comeback in the eve at 5. the straight open road really lets me enjoy the beauty of the ride. All the way I hear its smooth sound…

Will tell you his history someother time.
Think I would be taking him to his doc tomorrow. Hope he hits the road soon.

_______________________________

heartaches.

hi....



when your heart breaks you know how it feels, but when you see someone with a broken heart looking for your help, you do stupid things like its your ego, you got to be practical man, you have to move on...etc etc. but things are really to different for that. when your heart breaks no one other than you can acually help you. all you can do is say all the things that are in your mind and just wish that the other persons understands what you are goin through. but the fact is that they cant even feel a small part of it. your pain is all yours. the other can nly look in your eyes and wonder whats wrong with this guy.



my friend was in that horrible state. i could see him all messed up but there was very littel i could do about it other than just to take his attention of the topic. i could see the pain and the tears in his eyes and the only thing i could do about it was to wish that it all goes away soon.



my mind saw things from a practcal point that what gone is gone and there is nothing anyone could do about it. i said that to him what i thought and what i felt but he just said........i know it bloody well to but come tell those things to my heart if he understands that too........and then there was very littel to say.



i had been with him to teach him how to mean his broken heart and ended up learning how to be with a person with a broken heart............



your reasons and logics just hurt them even more....even if you intensions are good for them......but it doesn work that way......



i learnt my lesson..........so the next time i see a person with a broken heart i am just gonna sit silent and try to feel and listen to what his heart say.....

smoke n fly

25TH FEB 2010

was with a very beautiful girl. Was floating in a good dream. Her hair were beautiful eyes too deep. She was saying something to me. I was trying to listen what she was saying. Suddenly my eyes open and I see my room filled with smoke. my dream is lost and my sleep, I feel as if I haven’t slept at all. Looking at the smoke I try to understand what was going on. Distant memories and reasons flashes in the back on my mind how I left a hair dries on and it burned my table to ashes and filling the room with smoke. I feared it might me my laptop as I left it on for downloading a movie called ‘phobia 2’. Regretted myself to be too stupid. But my mind faught back saying laptops don’t burn like that. I didn’t move from my bed to look a\what I have lost for I had just incurred a loss of 50000/- grands.

Finally I stood up and moved towards the table praying that it should be anything but my laptop. I was finding it hard to breath may be that’s what broke my sleep. I quickly opened the doors to let the smoke out. I moved to my table and saw my lappi was on and still downloading. A relif to my heart. I wondered what it could be if not my laptop. Regaining my senses I recognized the smell of the some to be as of burning papper. Looking around I did not find anything burning. More relif. I saw smoke coming in through the window. Looked outside and saw someone had lit up the paper waste just under my window. And thanked god for scaring the shit out of me……………………………

hi

no job today.....not feeling that well.

nothing much so far..... the days about to end

somewht lonly today.....

with nothing much to do.....

back on the roads

the big guy is back on the road and its gonna hit it hard this time.........

well one thing is over.........that only means someother thing is about to come:-)

will watch out for it

22/02/2010 Monday


My truck:


my old truck costed me 50000/- really much more than I had expected. had to look for the spare for 4 days arould all the places. At last got the spares from Rajkot. 160 kms away. The repairs are still going on I hope he would hit the road by tomorrow.

Office Politics:


I hate it. I hate politics. But its more like a necessaty for the people to pass time. I don’t understand why people need to poke there nose in other things. But then I guess they don’t have much things to do here, govt. office you know.

Well ask me I just hate it. But there is one thing that I have learnt. If you pay it no heed then it sytops. That’s just what I do. I don’t bother at all.. coz I belive that there is very little any one can do if you play your part well. And if they can it simply means that you are wrong somewhere in playing your part. And ofcourse there are a few minds that just do it coz they love to do it. Well what do I do for that kinda ppl. Well I just let them do what they can do best. I just don’t recat. Coz that the main thing they would……lol……. Just don’t recat and they get fed up , in a way you bore them. Would you like to play with someone who doesn’t play at all.

That’,s it for today..