stranger

friday, 10th june 2011


i feel like a stranger in my own home....
i just m totall confused to as what things really and what i think them to be i dont want anything that which is a forced action from any side......
i just want things to be simple. but the thing is that i myself aint able to be so. i am not able to accept things as they are and things as they look. sorry gota go....next time

prem tammano

the next morning.

Wednesday, 8th June 2011,
0710hrs

dont know why its all depended. i long for a state of mind which stays calm and unmoved my the events of life. i want stillness. i want peace. i want to accept life as it comes and flot where ever it takes me. i want to be happy with myself wan to be at peace. i want to let go all the frustrations and all the hurts and all the negetive things that makes me sad. i want to be a free bird. Want to fly without ties. the sky is really huge and there are so many places to be. there are so many beautiful things to see. so many just want to be. just be........

Prem Tamanno

LOVE NOT

Tuesday 7th June 2011
1050hrs

learned a new lesson in life. and its that love hurts. the first was expectiaions hurt. and i adapted to it too well never expecting anything from anyone had brought peace in my life.
today i have learned that love really hurts a lot. i had been through this a couple of times. but i never realized. always thought i might be wrong. love is beautiful and love is bliss but i was wrong. love makes ur life more worse than hell.....

today i promise myself that i would never ever fall in love again. and i will fake it as many times as it is needed and where it is needed but i will never let myself fall in love ever again. no matter what no matter who.

just want peace in my life. if it cant be happy let it not be but i want peace.....

Prem Tamanno.......

sleepless

Saturday 4^th june 2011

1131hrs

Things are good for now. I don’t know what else to say. I see the change happening. I think it could work out really very well but I still have so many doubts. I see a better understanding might descend on us. everything could be beautiful. Life could be a lovely song.

But deep down I am confused and a state of fear prevails. Anxiety is to much. I have lost my sleep. This had never happenend to me before . I never had trouble sleeping in my entire life. Nothing could had possible kept me from sleeping. I just don’t know what to say.

I don’t know what I am afraid of. I just don’t know. Losing is not I am worried about nor is that I would go mad or anything. I just don’t know what its like .

Doc says that I need help and I think she is right at some point. I do need help. But I would prefer that I helped my self.

May be I nee time to get out of ll this fuck around me. Or may be I just need to express everything that’s in my heart . and may be that just what I need. I just need to get over this thing and move on. I would just do that…….

Prem Tamanno

clouds.

Thursday 2^nd june 2011

5:20 PM

Things had been too messy. I have been ripped apart. I feel like have been stabbed in the heart by the one I trusted the most. But I cant believe myself as what I reacted to it. May be it was not me who took the decision to still walk on the same path. Something are really hard to understand in life.

What now? I really don’t know. Everything is clouded and I don’t see the sky. And my heart wishes to hide from the storm.

I feel like drinking. I know its not what I want but still I feel like it. I should not had taken it. Now its time to move on with life. I have fooled myself enough. Want to live my life to the fullest. Want to chase my dreams. Just want to forget myself.

Prem Tamanno

the dark days

THE DARK DAYS

THURSDAY 26^TH MAY 2011

I have known her too long. I can say that I know her better than she knows herself. What she is saying today is not what she is speaking. Its someone else. She is really easy to be brainwashed or to be lured in to affairs. I don’t know how much this is true but my instincts say that this could be the only reason. I know she is really stupid. And I know that it’s a powerful web to break. Let it be then.

I have made many mistakes. And I wont say its her fault at all. For its mine. No one like to be unhappy and if they get a chance to be more happy its their every right to be.

About me I don’t know what to wish for now. God has always granted me every wish and all my wish have just led me to unhappiness. It feels like I go head on for unhappiness. May be I should just stop wishing anything and let god decide whats best for me. Just want to make a stop to all nonsense.

It is enough. Just want to be still just need to be silent. Just want to let it all go…………………

bye.

Prem Tamanno

the puppet

wednesday 25th May 2011,

i dont understand as to why i let this to happen to me everytime. it has happenend a hundred of times and everytime its the same. they say they cant and walk away. i stand there and watch them go by. and i just dont let them go but even keep waiting for them to return. how stupid i could be. placing ones happiness in other peoples hand is not the way and i dont wish to do that anymore.

i aint going to wait and watch it it like i used to everytime. i have started to walk too. i dont know were to nor do i care. but i know that walking away is going to lead me to somthing new. better or worse but i am going to take my chances. enough of letting them make a fool out of me everytime.

for i know that now things would never be the same again. atleast not for me. you walk all the way to the edge of the cliff hand in hand with me and then you push me down. now i dont wish to see you down there to sooth my wounds. pls back off.

i aint gonna blame anyone for pushing me off the cliff but i sure am gonna regret walking hand in hand. and i will make sure i dont take that walk again. for everytime the depth went deeper and this time it was the deepest i could climb out of. i dont want to fall off it to anything from wich i cannot climb out. so i think if you want to take a walk againg towards the cliff then my friend i would like to stand afar and watch you take the walk and just may be i would preffer watching you take someone else for that walk.

how stupid i was and how foolish i could be......................................................

now its my time to walk away.....